Sex

Editor's Note: The following is written by Hamburger Madness

You’re at a party at your friend’s place. There’s a girl there who you’ve hung out with several times. Nice, cute, has a decent sense of humor. After a few alcoholic beverages you and said female go back to her place. You end up consummating the night of lust in her bed. Problem is she lies there the whole time produces a few moans and sighs and possibly grabs the dotted outline of where your ass is supposed to be (at least in my case). Still you’re satisfied because sex is sex and this means one less night of masturbation.

Now picture this situation the other way around. Would the female be satisfied? Most likely not (depending on how badly she wants someone in her). In fact all signs point to she’ll tell her friends how bad you were in the sack. Now this is my problem, females believe that they can just lie there and satisfy the man. Where’s the equitability in this when it is an expectation that the man satisfy the woman but not the other way around? And how did we get to this?

Now all the girls are thinking you guys can get off so easy, you have to work to satisfy a woman but you don’t need to really try to get off a man. Well sorry ladies. It isn’t all that fun when you have to concentrate to get off. But then I got to thinking it might be all the masturbating I’ve done in my life (the counter is probably close to 10000 score, give or take a couple hundred) which has probably made it impossible for me to get off easily. However, some girls are actually good in bed and I can just have fun and get off.

Some girls will scratch, bite, slap, ride, gyrate, play with, suck, and work it. And the dearth of these wonderful creatures is partly men’s fault. These girls are commonly called freaks by certain men and many guys automatically think, “she’s one crazy bitch.” So girls end up thinking, “hold back on the freaky shit or become some shriveled up hag with a uterine cyst who’s still unmarried at 43.” But not all guys think like that ladies. I’d say most guys like a girl who can have fun in bed as long as they haven’t had too many jockeys come before them (pun totally intended).

What I am trying to get to is this: ladies, please, suck his nipples, play with his balls, if you get on top, ride that thing, scratch his back, bite his shoulder, slap that ass, grind that cock, but whatever you do don’t lie there on your back and expect him to do everything. I understand guys are supposed to lead but it takes both parties to have some fun, freaky, jungle sex. If he thinks you’re some slut because you want some spice in bed then it’s his loss not yours. Guys, if you want some fun-loving girls in bed, stop calling the fun-loving ones sluts, freaks or whatever demeaning names we call them. I like these magical creatures and both sexes must ensure that they do not become extinct.

Stay tuned for my next blog: penises are not joysticks and just because it is as hard as a rock it doesn’t mean it’s made of granite and invincible to teeth.

Tags: Women, Men, Society, & Rights